Pandora’s Box #2 Post Christmas Edition

Pandora's Box: The Worst and Most Useless Cosmetics

Our signature category: the notorious Pandora’s Box is back. This time it’s a special after Christmas edition, so we’ve collected the most useless and disappointing cosmetics that we received as gifts during this holiday season.

In the first five seconds we love all the presents and we adore when our friends and family try to please us by buying something that is meant to make us prettier, healthier or both. But sometimes what seems so innovative and luxurious on the shelf, doesn’t live up to our expectations and end-up in the best case scenario rewrapped and given to a younger sister or returned back to the store. Here’s four products to watch out for under your Christmas tree, if you spot any of them, claim the receipt from whoever bought it for you and run fast to the shop to get the money back and maybe even some testers as a compensation for the trouble.

From left to right:

Kenzo Fresh Lotus WaterJapanese beauty industry is surrounded by mystery and blind admiration. Being Japanese, an ordinary beauty product is very likely to have superpowers. Add a scent of something very oriental and a plant-extracted product that supposedly helps Asian women to stay immortal and you are good to sell. It seems very likely that this applies to Kenzoki Fresh Lotus Water Spray, leave aside the fact that no one really knows what face water sprays are for. Wake up your skin in the morning or make you feel fresh for five seconds? Exactly what tap water does for way less than 20$ a bottle.


LUSH Big Solid Conditioner. We take our hats off to LUSH for all their commitments to making cosmetics both more environment and animal friendly. But why at the cost of our own wellbeing? This big white chunk is solid as a rock and has no packaging whatsoever. Mother nature will thank you for choosing something with no preservatives and sparing a couple of grams of plastic, but what will your hair say when you try to condition it with something that has a consistency of a refrigerated butter? Before spending 15€ on 100g of this unpackaged disaster, try mixing 50/50 of hard coconut butter and sea salt and see for yourself if you enjoy rubbing it in your hair. It kind of hurts, makes hair more unruly and pretty harsh. Everything that a good conditioner does, but quite the opposite!

Diorskin Nude BB CremeThe idea behind a BB-cream is very appealing. It is supposed to work both as skincare and foundation, moisturising your skin and protecting it from the environment while adapting to your skin tone and giving your face a glowy coverage. This is a very ambitious idea, too. It seems that most of the beauty brands have given up the whole concept and focused on the most boring aspect — coverage. But Dior failed even at this. The cream is greasy, very heavily scented, hard to wash off the face. But most importantly, several minutes after applying it your face starts looking way worse than before. Dear Dior, try using a different name. FF-cream, maybe?

bareMinerals Pure Transformation Night Treatment. With a tagline: “Pure transformation overnight” cosmetics industry has been fooling us around for centuries, and we still buy it! Who doesn’t want to go to bed as a slightly overweight middle aged woman with wrinkles and spots and wake up as a young and fresh beauty model in her early twenties with a photoshopped skin? How often does it really happen? Yeah, you got it. At the closer look you realise how ridiculous this product is and how mesmerised and lured you were putting it in you shopping basket. Applying a powder after washing and moisturising your skin? With a special brush? You can even choose a shade to match your skin tone? To us it sounds like bareMinerals had some of their powder over and decided to re-market it as a night treatment, so people would buy more. They promise “dramatic reduce of pores’ appearance”, yeah,  maybe because your pores will be all taped by this powder 24/7. Luminous glow? We guess so, put it on before going to bed and soon enough you’ll start glowing in the dark.

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