Pandora’s Box #4

Pandora's Box: the most useless cosmetics products

Beauty Pie’s signature category: the notorious Pandora’s Box. In here we put the most useless beauty products that collect dust and take up space in our bathroom cabinets.Products in this category aren’t necessarily bad (as we believe that there’s no such thing as bad cosmetics), but these items either didn’t fit in in our daily routines, didn’t fulfill what was promised on the packaging or just didn’t meet our expectations. We’ve all been there sometimes: impulsively buying one more eye shadow from a new brand we’re curious about, or a high-tech Japanese shampoo because the packaging looks so neat, or simply because something is on sale or virtually free. Well, next time think twice, have you seen it flying out of Beauty Pie’s Pandora Box? Put it back on the shelf.

From left to right:

We love black eye shadows. Hands down, they are perfect for recreating smokey eye make up. But not Micronized Eye Shadow DAMS by Emite Make Up. The only thing this shit is good for is painting a panda face on your kid. It crumbles so much that you instantly get pitch black circles under the eyes, which are not that easy to get rid of either, thanks to very high pigmentation. Besides, why on Earth do they market this product as paraben- and perfume-free, whilst pretty much no one in the industry puts any preservatives in powders anyway?! They’re solid, they don’t need them.

Our experience with what is said to be a great Swedish nail brand hasn’t started that well. To begin with, we’re still perplexed by its name: Scratch Nails doesn’t give an impression of something good for your manicure. To make it even worse the product itself is called Matte Lacquer No Shine. Who wants un-shiny scratch nails? Exactly the point. Mattifiers are cool as a concept, but they make the nail polish last shorter and most of the time don’t even work that well. This one is no exception.

Unlike Bioderma‘s popular micellar solutions, the moisturizers from the same brand are rather dubious. An unimpressive ingredients list in Hydrabio Legere (topped by silicones and alcohol) and its mediocre abilities to nourish and moisturize the skin, raise the most important question of them all: is it even worth buying? The answer is “No”, because very soon after using this product the skin gets oily and shiny, but surprisingly enough at the same time it doesn’t feel moisturized.

When we first saw Murad‘s Time Release Acne Cleanser, we thought to ourselves: finally, a product made for those of us who are still trying to get rid of teenage acne, while at the same time fighting fine lines and first wrinkles. Expectedly, it sounded too good to be true. It doesn’t clean the skin well, so after using it for a week we ended up with more blemishes than we started with. And do we need to mention that its anti-aging effect never came through?

La Blue Bottle’s Kanaloa BB Shampoo  is said to be very soft and neutral, it should treat the scalp gently and have a sophisticated and complex scent that is revealed during the day. Well, what they say about scalp is true. BUT the hair gets extremely greasy already after a couple of hours upon the washing. So what’s the point in dirty hair having an intricate smell? It is marketed as both a shampoo and a conditioner, which would save you time and space in the bathroom cabinet. However, to make it work you’ll need to buy another shampoo that will fulfill the function of washing your hair. So the bathroom won’t get any airier. And considering the fact that a bottle of this Japanese wonder costs 46€, there won’t be any savings involved anyway. We officially declare Kanaloa BB the largest shampoo-disappointment of all time.

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