Pandora’s Box #5 Little Miss Consumer Edition

Little Miss Consumer & Beauty Pie: Pandora's Box

Beauty Pie’s signature category: the notorious Pandora’s Box. This time we’ve teamed up with an amazing Swedish beauty blogger – Little Miss Consumer and asked Maria to tell us about the most useless beauty products that collect dust and take up space in her bathroom cabinet.

Maria is one of the funniest and most brutally honest people we know. If she doesn’t like something, she won’t go around in circles trying to phrase the disapproval in a nice way, she just tells the truth as it is. That’s why she made the perfect candidate to appear as a guest editor in Beauty Pie‘s Pandora’s Box.

As you might remember products in this category aren’t necessarily bad (as we believe that there’s no such thing as bad cosmetics), but these items either didn’t fulfill what was promised on the packaging or just didn’t meet the expectations.

From left to right:

There are million other things you could do instead of buying Biotherm‘s Celluli Eraser that will actually give you better results for less money. Among others: stop eating too many sweets, start to work out, and in case you do want to spend 50€ on an anti-cellulite program, invest them in a gym membership. Biotherm promises visible results already after 14 days, but Maria has been vigorously massaging this cream in for at least 30 minutes every god damn night and all in vain. The only noticeable effect she’s got out of it was that the areas she’d applied it on got extremely itchy. So maybe the idea is to scratch away cellulite?

Dior Capture Totale One Essential Super Skin Boosting Serum might be an example of the most expensive bottle of water with added placebo effect. After paying 100€ for 30ml, we hope you could at least get that. Of course you’ll be proud to display its beautiful packaging in the front row of your bathroom arsenal, but, honestly, we think it would be nobler if you gave the money away to charity. Doing something nice for those in need will give you better conscious and probably better skin than this over-priced serum.

Instead of using L’Oréal Paris Elvital Extraordinary Oil you could as well open your fridge and take a piece of butter. The result would be the same. We’ve even tried it, just to be sure. We’ve named the look: “I hadn’t have time to wash my hair in the past three years”. It could also be a go-to-product if you’re getting ready for a grunge party and want to blend in. However, please, be aware: once you’ve got this oil in, it’s impossible to get out. Maria had to use dishwashing gel, the extra-strong one she uses to wash the pan after frying a piece of cod in a lot of butter.

Serums are tricky, because it’s hard to tell what you get for your money. Lancôme Visionnaire claims to use a lot of revolutionary ingredients without explaining what exactly they do for your skin.  Generally, we have tons of questions to this product that the ingredient list can’t answer. That’s why we can’t stop wonder if this is one of those treatments that was made and marketed for profit generating purposes only.

We’ve figured out that making foundations isn’t easy. Otherwise why would every cosmetics brand have at least one really bad flop in their range? However UNE‘s Skin Ideal Youth Serum Foundation might be the worst. Ever. It’s really terrible: in some mysterious way it only covers your pores (even if you thought you didn’t have any). When Maria put it on for the first time, she was more than half an hour late to work, because she had to redo her make-up completely. We’re still puzzled who needs a foundation that gives polka-dot coverage?

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